but then I decided that being down in the dumps all day was no good and really, I should be doing something about my mood. and while I've never been good at math, I remembered something Nut told me which is that the most difficult math is the kind that enables us to count our blessings (upon googling this is actually a quote by Eric Hoffer, but Nut is my Eric Hoffer today). So I went out to try and cheer myself up!
And I think God really wanted to cheer me up too because it was a really good day. I took the bus out so I could take my time to read on the bus to town and calm down. The weather was super hot but I guess it was better than a dreary day..
I went to kinokuniya to see whether there were new titles to check out and at one point I saw many Happiness related books which really spoke to me~
at one point this middle-aged man approached me to ask for $3 because he didn't have enough money to pay for a $5 cookbook that he wanted to get his wife. I felt pretty bad for him because he really didn't look very well off at all, and on hindsight I'm somewhat upset at myself for not giving him more? But in the moment I didn't think much and so I only gave him that $3 and spoke to him for a bit. He seemed really touched at the gesture but on my part, I was touched by how he wanted to encourage his wife who was apparently learning how to cook. He started telling me about how keeping a job is hard for him, that he got fired after 3 weeks, that he was full of regrets and I should work hard and appreciate all I have. Then he thanked me again and gave me a hug. I was a little taken aback, because actually he gave me x2 hugs. I guess I just hope that it was good for him, that hug.
It encouraged me, because he told me that he was happy to meet a good person. and God knows I need to be reassured today.. that kindness and goodness can be shown and nurtured in the small acts of daily life. (in case it isn't making sense, this has to do with how my day started out really shitty; have you ever doubted yourself?)
Then I received encouragement from friends- and this is amazing because I never told anyone I was feeling down. sometimes it's just nice to be remembered :) (side note: I've also realised a skill I've always lacked is in maintaining my relationships, perhaps because of a different perspective I used to have, but I'm going to try to keep in touch with more people.)
And I got a new pair of earphones and met up with jw and had pizza. It ended up being a really really good day, and now I'm ready for school tomorrow :)
heading off to the lab at 8am to finish up my lab work (occlusal equilibration and occlusion waxups) which I'm... not exactly looking forward to because it's mind boggling and frustrating :( BUT, OPTIMISM.
GONNA WEAR IT ON MY EYES.
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